Physical Boundaries: How Far Is Too Far?

Just how “chill” are we allowed to get while we’re Netflix’in? How far is too far when it comes to “doing stuff” with your boyfriend? This is a question I hear a lot and one I used to ask myself all the time.

I get it. I’ve been there. It’s tough. I’ve catapulted myself over any and all lines. I’ve also been in relationships where sexual purity was a priority, so I’ve fought from that end too.

Jesus clearly tells us not to have sex before marriage. Outside of that, if we take it down to the very literal details, He does not explicitly define a physical line that marks “too far.” But that does not give us an excuse to do whatever we want. He does talk to us about our thoughts. He also tells us how we are supposed to use our bodies, and what a healthy relationship should look like. When you piece it all together, the right choices are not so hazy after all.

So…what is the answer? Let’s back up.

First, the obvious command: 1 Thessalonians 4:3 says “For this is the will of God…that you abstain from sexual immorality.” 1 Corinthians 6:18 takes it a step further and tells us to run away from it. It also lets us know that sexual sin is actually self-harm.

Our thoughts: “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8. Let’s be honest, there is very little that can be done physically while still thinking thoughts that are lovely and pure.

Our bodies: In 1 Corinthians 6 we are told to honor God with our bodies. Why? We aren’t the first ones to ask. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price” (v. 19-20). I don’t know about you, but the idea of doing anything sexual gets less appealing when I think of Jesus living inside of me. Or even being there, for that matter. *cringe*

Healthy relationships: God is the creator of love, and He tells us that love does not pursue sin or delight in wrong (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

So back to the original question. Where is the line? 

Plot twist: that is actually the wrong question. Jesus isn’t about the line. When He calls us to follow Him, He draws us away from the line in general.

When He calls us to follow Him, He draws us away from the line in general

The line is no longer what is important; loving Jesus and following Him is most important. So the question needs to be “How close can we get to Jesus?”

So the question needs to be “How close can we get to Jesus?”

The good news is that we can get as close to Him as we want to. The closer we get, the closer we want to be. But the world we live in doesn’t make it easy, and that’s why it’s super important to be in relationships that lead you towards Jesus instead of towards sin. That’s what our next devo is about. Love y’all!

“But you are a man [or woman] of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you.” 1 Timothy 6:11-12

UP NEXT: Physical Boundaries Part 2: If I’m In Love, It Doesn’t Matter As Much. Right?



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