In a recent devotional I brought up two questions for us to ask ourselves as we prepare to kick insecurity’s butt.
- What am I afraid of losing?
- What triggers my insecurity?
I want to zoom in on the second question for a moment. Specifically, who triggers the insecurity.
We typically feel insecure around certain people because:
- We compare ourselves to them and trigger our own insecurities
- They trigger our insecurities by what they do, don’t do, say or don’t say. This can be intentional or unintentional.
We all know some. The “friend” who constantly calls you out and belittles you in front of other people. The girl who hates you and makes sure everyone nearby knows it when you walk past her lunch table. The guy who only texts you when he is bored and has no one else around. The parent who tells you you’re not good enough. How about his new girlfriend who you constantly compare yourself to? Or the girl who just moved here and has all the guys drooling over her? And then of course there are the perfect half-naked bodies plastered everywhere and the real-life bikini model who is sunbathing beside you at the pool.
Those last few examples land in the category that we have more control over. Right now I want to focus on the insecurities that result from other people’s words, actions or lack thereof; the intentional attempts to exploit insecurity.
One of my favorite writers of all time, Beth Moore, wrote a book called So Long Insecurity, You’ve Been a Bad Friend to Us. This book holds tons of truth and tricks to combat insecurity. Take a look at the excerpt below:
“Any person who enjoys and exploits another’s insecurity and sensitivity is an emotional predator…The emotional predator sometimes has redeeming qualities that complicate things considerably because they allow us to make excuses for the person and avoid drawing solid boundaries…”
Pause. This is why you just can’t seem to get away from the guy who makes you feel more worthless than anyone else or stand up to the girl who keeps crawling back into your life only to set things on fire and run away – again.
“…we are also explicitly told to have nothing to do with them. I want to be clear in the next statement as absolutely possible: if you are single, I implore you not to [date] an emotional predator. If you struggle with sizable insecurity, you could be a sitting duck (a.k.a. an easy target) for one. Rethink any relationship where you tend to be remarkably and consistently weak-willed.”
“For people will be lovers of self…proud, arrogant, abusive…unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.” 2 Timothy 3:2-5
“Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips.” Proverbs 25:19
“Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?” Proverbs 6:27
“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” 1 Corinthians 15:33